HELPING WITH NO DEFINITE REWARD

OMG – My first ever PODCAST

Eherm… well, if it is my first, then it’s presumably my worst. Haha. What a prick I am. Hope you bother hovering your mouse pointer over the play button of mine. Huhuhu… I was inspired to Juice’s podcast. Tried to have at least one just to check my voice quality… if there’s any. ^_^. Definitely I WILL NOT SING. I can’t. haha. Training ground for broadcasting, perhaps? But honestly it was awkward to record while the rest of my relatives are around. It’s so intimidating.

I’ve uploaded a speakerphone version of today’s post. I hope you appreciate my effort just in case you don’t want to read and instead listen to my clumsy reading. ^_^ Don’t mind the mispronunciation and noseblowing. I was eating. ^_^

O BTW, fllnngl tagged me. Refer to this post about this Random Like yadda-yadda describing tags. Thanks fllnngl!
—————

Someone challenged me to do a wholly Tagalog post. Well actually, I had a wholly Tagalog post last April—a special post about my closest publication colleague Maria Theresa Pangilinan (well, if you don’t know her, they will tell you). Ok. I’ll do it for the 2nd time. Hope it’ll be my last.

Mind you… you’ll be expecting a lot of bulolled (coined term) vocabularies here. Haven’t been writing eloquently straight in Tagalog for the past few years that’s why I’m barbarically having a hard time writing news stories for Mr. Jun del Rosario (a former Senior Manager of ABS-CBN News Dept). Because of that, I feel like I’ve been sinful nationalistically to our Mother Land (hate you, Americanized/Westernized education)Might give you hints that there will be portions of TH (trying hard) highfalutin Tagalog terminologies which I’ve learned in reading Jose Rizal’s novels and, of course, conversations with some natives in Indang. Bisaya, pwede pa ako, ga. Korean, gure! Tagalog, sa email siguro for my Dad.

————————-

PAGTULONG NANG WALANG TIYAK NA KABAYARAN

Naging abala ako (*nose bleeds) sa aking akademiko nitong mga nagdaang araw. Naisip ko, unti-unti nang nalalanta ang aking mga talulot sa pagpasok ko sa pamantasan. Hindi tulad ng dati, kahit na magkasakit ako mula sa isanlibo’t isang kagat ng Aedes egypti sa pwet habang nakasalampak ako sa kama nang patiwarik, pinipilit ko ang katawan kong maligo’t magbihis para sa mga klaseng nakasalalay ang class standings ko noong highschool. Ngayon, kahit umambon-ambon lang diyan sa may labahan ng aming tinutuluyang apartment, pakiramdam ko katapusan na ng mundo.

Kantyaw ko nga sa aking mga kaklaseng masipag na gumigising sa akin tuwing alas-6 ng umaga, malapad ang kama, malambot ang unan, malamig ang hangin, mahalumigmig ang kapaligiran, makulimlim ang kalangitan Para saan ba ang ganitong mga biyaya ng Maykapangyarihan? Tutal, sabi ko sa kanila, hindi naman ako nag-aalala dahil matalino naman ako sa paningin ng faculty ng KabSU at hindi ko daw kailangan pang alalahanin ang aking mga marka sa aking kwadrado.

Ngayon, iniisip ko na lang ang prinsipyong parang utot ng aking kuya kung lumitaw sa aking kukote.

‘Kailangan kong yumaman bago mag-asawa’.

Mag-asawa—bibilang muna ako ng tupa bago ko marating ang kahahantungan ng paglagay ko sa aking sarili sa matiwasay na katahimikan. Kulang na lang, may sisiw sa ibabaw. Biskwit at kape, meron ka ba?

Pinapasikat ko na rin sa aking mga kaTROFAMILYKADA (na nagsimula dahil sa walang kakwenta-kwenta naming professor sa Intro to Film and Audiovisual Communication) ang aking CD burning business. Sabi ko, mula ngayon, adhikain ko nang palawigin ang kapangyarihan ng piracy sa Cavite dahil sa monopolistang Bill Gates na iyan na wala nang ginawang iba kundi magpalaki ng bayag sa paggagawa ng virus sa mundo ng internet. Kung alam niyo lang, gamit ko ngayon ang super-bago-ngunit-piratang Microsoft Office 2007 na nadownload ko lang gamit ang bago kong bestfriend na si Azureus. O di ba, close kami sa isa’t isa? Hindi lang Media Player 11 Hacked, Nero 7 Premium, Adobe Creative Suite 2, Internet Explorer 11, Limewire Pro 4.11, atbp ang iniregalo sa kin ni Azureus. Pati ang superlaking Encarta 2006, Rosetta Stone Japanese, Visual Basic, at ilan pang malalaking programs, nadownload kong lahat nang hindi ako gumagastos ng Php 500,000.00.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, ang presyong pinapataw ng mga software developers ay kasakiman. Kung hindi pa ako mamimirata, kalian ko pa mapapag-aralan ang mga programs na ito na kakailangan ko sa aking trabaho? Hindi ba’t ang edukasyon ay karapatan ninuman? Buti na lang, ininspire ako ni Captain Sparrow. Piracy is the best policy.

Umalis ako kahapon para tulungan ang aking katropang si Kuya Emman. Kuya, dahil ayoko siyang tawaging Manong. Tatay na naming siya sa grupo. May proyekto kasing pinapagawa ang kanyang irog na ipapasa sa Huwebes. Eto ako, inialay ang aking talento para sa kanya. May bayad pa nga daw, sabi niya. Naku, okay na sanang walang kabayaran. Kaso, tinanong pa ako kung magkano ang pagpapagawa ng Powerpoint-based 2d animation with commentary story sa kin. Nahiya tuloy ako. Ni minsan, hindi ko pinresyuhan ang sinumang humihingi ng pabor sa akin. Basta matuwa lang sila kahit walang bayad, ok na sa kin yun.

Nakarating kami ng SM Manila mga 9 am ng umaga. Dahil sa mukhang mahuhuli sa pagdating ang irog ni Kuya Emman, minungkahi ko nang maghanap kami ng mga computer centers na pwedeng paggawan ng kanyang Powerpoint Presentation. Marami pala sa SM Manila ng mga computer centers. Ngunit hindi pala.

Kamakailan lang ay naglunsad ng malawakang pagkuyog ng kapulisan ng Maynila upang halughigin ang mga computer centers na gumagamit ng pirated softwares. Partikular sa hinanting nilang mga programs ay ang Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Office, at Adobe Creative Suite. Naging talamak diumano ang pagkalat ng mga computer centers na ilegal na gumagamit ng naturang mga softwares na hindi man lang binabayaran ang karampatang presyo ng lisensyang nakalakip sa bawat program.

Aun, nakaisang laksang siyam-siyam na namaga ang aming mga pata sa kakahanap ng mga computer centers na merong Powerpoint. Wala po kami, sagot ng mga hinayupak. Nasira ang umaga ko noon.

Ngunit sadyang masyadong maganda ang pagkakakanta ni Sarah Geronimo ng Bituing Walang Ningning (mahal kita, idol) at nakatsamba ang inyong lolo sa isang panget (wow! Panglait!) na computer shop na patagong nag-ooperate ng isang PC na may nakainstall na Powerpoint Year of the Kopong-kopong. Pinagtyagaan na naming gamitin ito kaysa naman sa mabigwasan ang aking Kuya Emman ng family ng kanyang irog kung dederetso kami sa kanilang tahanan.
Galante ang kanyang irog. As in super. Ilang sandal lang at nag-lunch time na. Umalis lang sandali ang mag-irog para daw bumili ng panglunch. Ilang minuto pa, may two-chicken meal na ako with frech fries, mineral water and large Coke na ako sa harap. Maya-maya pa, biglang kumaripas ng takbo si Kuya Emman. Extra rice daw para sa akin. Naku, naubos ko na ang manok. Nang magmeryenda alas-dos, bumili ng brownies. Naku, hindi ako ginugutom ng magsing-irog.

Natapos namin itong Powerpoint presentation mga alas-kwatro ng hapon. Humirit pa ang magsing-irog. Tinreat pa ako sa Burger King sa SM Manila na noo’y pinamugaran ng mga adik sa deodorant. Hindi, nandoon kasi ang First Day High gang. Wow, ganda pala ni Sosy High sa personal. Pandak pala talaga si Boy 2 Quizon. At, parang tore na tinubuan ng kagwapo-gwapong mukha itong boyfriend ni Kyla.

Tinanong ko sila kung bakit sila sobra kung gumastos para sa kin. Wag daw akong mag-alala. Gagastos naman daw sila para sa pagkain. Tutal, pagkain rin naman ang habol nila at hindi lang naman daw ako ang kakain. Nakakatuwa talaga silang tingnan. Sabi ko kasi sa kanila, wala kasi akong dapat pagkagastusan kundi murang pantawid ng gutom at pang-internet. Tawa ang maglola.

Umuwi kami kinagabihan. Nakaidlip ako saglit nang bigla akong kinalabit ni Kuya Emman. May mukha ng ka-b-day kong si Benigno Aquino sa kanyang kamao. Asus, bigla tuloy akong nagmukhang sinampal ni Cherrie Gil sa hiya. Napakalaki nang ginastos ng kanyang irog para sa akin tapos may kwarta pang kasama. Binusog na nila ang tapeworms sa aking tiyan tapos, me datung. Una’y tumanggi ako, pero sa pamimilit tinanggap ko rin. Kunin ko na raw dahil baka masulot pa kami ng mga magnanakaw sa maynila. Pambaon rin ito na hindi hihingiin kay Mommy. Pero kung nagkataon, hindi ko na sana tinanggap. Sapat na sakin na nagustuhan nila ang comedy presentation na ginawa ko.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero mahirap sa akin ang tumanggap ng kabayaran lalo pa’t itatanong pa sa akin kung anong kabayaran ang dapat kong matanggap. Malaking utang na loob na ang pagiging kaibigan ko sila. Dahil sa tanang buhay ko, sila lang ang mga naging tunay kong kaibigang hindi sinasahuran ng tubig tuwing naliligo sa palikuran. Sapat na sa akin ang maging tapat sila sa sarili nila na kilalanin ako bilang ako. Kaya kung may tulong na hihingiin sila, basta’t hindi ako napipilitan dahil sa kung anong Poncio Pilatong magsasabi sa king dapat kong gawin yun, iaalay ko ang aking kapangyarihan.

Categories: Personalan

INTIMIDATION IS THE BEST POLICY

I look intimidating.

Even my classmates are quite intimidated to me. Each time I talk in front of them, they, uh what you call this, stare at me provocatively as if they seemed to be guarded by some tiger-looking librarian in the group. They listen very carefully, note some words which they don’t understand (when I speak English), and never bullied around by chatting with their seatmates inside our class whenever I report.

“Para ka kasing teacher, Neil”, one former classmate (and a close diva friend of ours) told me…

I remember when I first attended our very first class in Cavite State U, I was wearing a was-popular Lee Pipes shirt, jeans, hair cut with gel damped on while holding a Tuscany envelope filled with some Martian-language documents from planet Jupiter. I saw a pack of students fancying on the corridor chitchating about their, well, post graduation experiences. Then, I walked closer to them thinking that they are my MCOM classmates.

Everyone became silent except the birds chirping and houseflies mating.

“Sir, kayo po ba prof namin sa BIO?”, Krizelle asked.

I laughed intrapersonally.

Ever since I became the popular talk of the freshmen, people used to stare at me. People quietted by my looks and accent, though I am obliged speaking natively, each time I approach them. “Mukha kang Koreano”. Students are dumbfound when I talk to them. They say, it’s hard to speak in English. I usually have the best treatment from the faculty who are just so impressed “daw” with my ‘dating’(aura) and ‘dunong’(intelligence). It became worse when I joined the publication. It became worst when I joined univ organizations.

I can’t count how many times people judge me the way I speak and look. This first impression really diverts people’s perception about the real personality of other persons. Person of ordinary quality, or perhaps trying-to-be-ordinary personality. It cannot be blamed. All people are oriented significantly different from each other.

Due to the fact that more and more people are intimidated to me, I now dress fashionably ordinary. I speak patriotically ordinary, (though I admit the fact that I always lose my vocabulary per conversation).

One time, I forgot to wash my polo top. I had no choice but to wear my gray polo shirt in school. After reaching the Tricycle Term’e'nal, trike drivers were scrambling as if some congressman was donating another waiting shed in their area. I reached Gate two. The lady guard is keen with the student’s ID wearing. My companions entered gracefully. Then it was my turn.

“Oh, good morning po, sir”, with a big smile the lady guard greeted me with reverence.

“Good morning, too”, I retorted.

I laughed intrapersonally for the second time.

Categories: Eskwelahan

TIGBAKAN–LAGLAGAN–FHM

This post isn’t supposed to be posted today. Hell Blogger who seemed to have gone haywire for the nth time already. But anyways, I’ve posted it. Enjoy!

Prelude *updated*:

Before the babes, I was tagged. Hehehe. The rules? I submitted my name to their comments section. Then she will give comments/suggestions about my blog corresponding to the words below.

If you want to be tagged, just include “Buruguduystunstuguduystun me, Neil” on the footer of your comment. Ok?

Click this if you want to read their responses. Skip this if don’t want to. ^_^

From Juicee:

1. Random
Hoy you never told me to link you, I could have read your posts way back if I knew..

Hehehe… it’s not my habit to popularize my blog with link exchange. If I really like a blog, I automatically link it. Anyways, thanks for linking me, too ^_^

2. Challenge
Try not to associate anything with Korean stuff in your life for 2 weeks. Kaya? Woot!

Uhmmm… it’s hard. Cannot be. Next!

3. Color
The blue in your blog. I like that color

I really lurrve blue. My life is so blue… my room is blue. Our house is blue. Blue-blue-blue.

4. LIKE
I like how your posts are so straightforward…

Thanks. In real life, I’m straightforward.

5. FIRST MEMORY
Hmm, I forgot, I mean I’ve been to your blog waay back.. refresh me?

Oh… I can’t recall… hmmm… You have a good memory.

6. ANIMAL
A zebra? Coz your blog is full of white and blue.. hahah labo!

Heehonk. Nyihheeeeee. Bite.

7. QUESTION
What’s your favorite Korean movie?

Wet Dreams. Joke. My Sassy Girl.

8. SONG
Since you’re so Korean, More Than Words by G.O.D (they split up right?) I love their version, coz it’s Korean. hehe

Errr… I don’t like GOD. Yes, they are already disbanded. But my real faves are Lexy, Wheesung, Lee Su Yeong and Kim Beom Su.

From Anje:

RANDOM
`I was surprised you commented. LOL

Surprise!

CHALLENGE
`Make a post using gay linog. Ahahaha! TRIP NA TOH!

Hay. Ang hitad. Binebera mo akelsh. Bruha ka! Lol

COLOR
`Blue. Color of your blog eh

Ah ok. Hehehe. Love blue.

LIKE
`You’re very friendly

Thank you, bitch. Joke!!!

FIRST MEMORY
`yung comment mo kanina. LOL

Oh… uh… err… who are you?

ANIMAL
`Jaguar. Kasi you know how to ‘’spot” a good post? Adiiik

Talaga lang, ha? How did you know?

QUESTION
`Link exchange tayooo?

Ermmm… I’ll read your blog first from top to bottom. Yiheeee!

SONG
`Mang Jose by PnE. It just popped out when I saw your header. Heheee

I hate that song. I like “The Order Taker”. ^_^

————–

FHM Wootness

Oh… malakas lang ang trip ko.

I was browsing interconnecting blogs from one link to another and then I noticed Baylon’s.

I didn’t realize, I drafted an email about the 100 FHM Sexiest in the World a few weeks ago. Hehe. Just to make sure my pornographic juices are still working and cumming—err, I mean coming, here’s how I look at these babes on my mag and uploaded it here.

Anyways… just wondering.

FHM 100 Sexiest in the World? I mean–the whole world? I don’t believe it. Even those scumbags from the remotest shanties in our planet recognize small time whores like Jaycee Parker? It’s not.

It’s just that these are the girls only recognized by Filipinos (and Filipina-orgasmic citizens of the world) as the most juicilicious of all.

Even Jang-Geum was victimized by these crooks…

Hahaha. OMG. I can’t believe I did this. Go on, continue reading.

Drum rolls, please…

—–

100. Katya Santos – Err… chubby. My mother look-alike. (mom *giggles*)

99. Jaboom Twins – Cute. Short-legged.

98. Kit Barraquias – Continue your studies, ok?

97. Gem Ramos – Show? Show? Show!

96. Jen Rosendahl – Tall. Jawbones. Nice nips. Thanks, Eat Bulaga ^_^

95. Jamilla – Donde estas… jamilla–oh sorry. She’s devirginized already.

94. Sheree – Yihee. Sheree! Yihee! My favorite Hotbabe.

93. Nadine Schmidt – OMG… Nadine? Hey, long time no see! Where have you been? In London?

92. Bea Alonzo – Fugly. Chubby.

91. Denise Montecillo – Nyahahaha. Wala lang.

90. Apreal Tolentino – Thunder. Thunder.

89. Carol Garcia – Dunno her. Who is she?

88. Jenny Miller – Oh… ah ok. Sexy.

87. Kyla – HOWAW! KYLA—drool… drool… wish I could see Kyla wearing bikinis. Whohoo!

86. Zara Lopez – Err… a Quezon City Circle regular?

85. Maricar dela Fuente – nyehehe. Still don’t know this gal. Sexy.

84. Kelly Misa – Love her. Ponds, KFC–then partnered with a gay Piolo Pascual. Love you Kelly!

83. Jocelyn Oxelade – Super fine.

82. Jaymee Joaquin – Umm, is ‘Bora’ still existing?

81. Kristine Hermosa – go to Malaysia. You’re super famous there, chubby. ^_^

80. Kat Alano – Bwahaha. Wowowee! Sosy High.

79. Alessandra de Rossi - Love this girl. This sexy naughty bitchy Alex. bow.

78. Ruffa Mae Quinto – Wow. Todo na to. Whooh! As in to the hayest level na to. Okay?

77. Belinda Bright - Argh. Monster! Mommy! Mommy!

76. Regine Velasquez - Err… just sing na lang.

75. Yasmien Kurdi – HOWAAAT??? SEXIEST??? I THOUGHT PIGS ARE NOT ALLOWED??? FHM??

74. Sheena Halili – Err… gf of Rainier Castillo? Very polite girl. Cute.

73. Renee Summer – Oh. The FHM summer issue girl. Seriously.

72. Pia Guanio – Chika Minute lady. Eat Bulaga Babe. Only if she wears her makeup.

71. Andrea del Rosario – Err… wear a mask.

70. Pops Fernandez – aging but still ravishing. Hahaha. My classmate look-alike

69. Elisha Cuthbert – I dunno her.

68. Ryza Cenon – Who is she? Hehehe. Just kidding.

67. Jopay Paguia – My fave Sexbomb dancer. Go Jopay!

66. Ornusa Cadness - Borgy Manotoc. I only know Borgy.

65. Lj Reyes – Hmmm… who is she, too?

64. Lee Young Ae – AAARGH!! My JANG-GEUM? SEXY? BRAAARRGH!!

63. Julia Clarete – Whoo! Rockista! Artista! Durugista.! Cool! Sobrang ok, tol!

62. Angelina Jollie – Tomb Raider. I don’t like her lips. But she’s humanitarian.

61. Gwen Garci – Dumb-ass bitch. Really. Totally stupid.

60. Kitchie Nadal - Waaargh! Kitchie! Gotta keep my ears on her music.

59. Lindsay Lohan – I dunno but I never listened nor watched her sing.

58. Eula Valdez – Groovy. Maharot cover girl. Hotta Momma.

57. Zhang Zi Yi - Crouch Me, Geisha. I have a Hidden Dragon. Roar.

56. Janelle Jamer – Wowowee! Wowowee! A Ruffa Mae rip-off

55. Nadine Samonte – Oh my god… Nadine… o Nadine… I can die now…

54. Jackie Rice - a dumb SS. Really. Hell–who cares about intelligence, eh? ^_^

53. Chynna Ortaleza – too skinny

52. Aliya Parcs – Who the hell is she?

51. Rochelle Pangilinan – hmm… she’s not beautiful, but she dances sensually. ^_^

50. Nicole Hernandez – AMP girl.

49. Isabel Oli - Gorgeous face. True blue Filipina. I love Cebuanas. Philippine
goodness

48. Cherry Lou – Fatso. Penguin.

47. Maja Salvador – Again… attempted to be partnered to John. It never worked.

46. Cristine Reyes – a goddess. A good actress. Better than her elder sis.

45. Sofie – Who is she???

44. Valerie Concepcion – Teenage moms really are damn so sexy.Cover girl for this month.

43. Bubbles Paraiso – Ah ok. sister of Paolo Paraiso. Paolo is a ham. Is she a ham, too?

42. Ara Mina – Is she my mother? I think I am viewing a Mr. Marshmallow right now.

41. Michelle Madrigal - Ah. SCQ gal. So?

40. Iza Calzado – Euuwe. Euuwe. Euuwe. Hehheey. Encantadia. Amihan. Hangin! Whoosh!

39. Ehra Madrigal – Hmm… I don’t know her. An Umbra, it says? What’s an Umbra, anyway?

38. Marian Rivera - You make me shine… shine! Darna! Nyahahah!

37. Jeni Hernandez – Vandolph? Oh… girlfriend of Vandolph, you say.

36. Mariel Rodriguez - she’s unpredictably dumb but god damn gorgeous. Nayaha.

35. Maureen Larazabal - Too tall. Too surgically-modified. No comment.

34. Cassandra Ponti - I don’t like her nips. cover it, please. ^_^

33. Jessica Alba - Hotta hotta. Hotta hotta.

32. Maria Sharapova – Tennis pornstars, anyone?

31. Aubrey Miles – Beautiful mother. Oops… did I mention something… mo-th-e-r?

30. Regine Tolentino – Too old.

29. Chinggay Andrada – Intelligent. Ummm.. smart, and… Responsible?

28. Jaycee Parker – A Whore.

27. Toni Gonzaga – I love her hosting. I love her punchlines. I love her. But she’s not sexy

26. Precious Lara Quigaman – Tee-Vee babe Miss World title holder. Groovy.

25. Camille Prats – Lard. Butter. Margarine. Tallow. Oil. Fat?

24. Vanna garcia - she looks so suplada.

23. Phoemela Barranda – Pot session. Sniff sniff. Swallow. Syringe. High. Vapor.

22. Chesca Garcia – Too mestiza. Too intimidating. I’m melting…

21. Jennifer Lee – oh… Viva Hot Babe. Ok.

20. Maui Taylor - Hmm… can I purchase a barbie doll instead?

19. Rica Peralejo – Thank God she’s fair-skinned. Broil her. what does she look like?

18. Nancy Castiglione – Mother. Oops. Mom. Oops. Ina. Nanay. Momsky. Mamuy. Waah!

17. Anne Curtis - Love me, Anne! Love me!

16. Iwa Moto – ok. is she not in good terms with (insert name here/entire world) again?

15. Heart Evangelista - Damn so delicious. I can die now.

14. Angelica Panganiban – Boobs na tinubuan ng mukha.

13. Asia Agcaoili – Teach sex education. Don’t pose–oops! Don’t look at me. Just teach.

12. Tanya Garcia - Carlos Miguel–twin hearts… we will never be apart..

11. Francine Prieto – OMG… rape me! rape me! Joke. I respect Ate Marie.

10. Bianca Gonzales – Too pinay to be true. Beautiful.

9. Pauleen Luna – Hmmm… humble but chubby… hmmm… chubby talaga eh.

8. Iya Villania – Oh… that Game VJ on IBC13, now one of Willie’s concubines. Hehehe

7. Cindy Kurleto - God. OMG. A goddess… I worship you. If she sings, just look at her ^_^

6. Jennylyn Mercado - cheapstake. What happened to her? Regularly dumped?

5. Bianca King – Oh… thanks for that TJ hotdog. Want my TJ hotdog, too? No really…

4. Diana Zubiri - God—OMG— I can die now, Sang’gre Danaya… kill me…

3. Angel Locsin – (inside the bathroom… 10 minutes later) Hey, I only pooped, ok? (Gets some alcohol)

2. Katrina Halili – (inside my room… 30 minutes later) I only changed my clothes, ok? (takes a bath)

1. Scarlett Johansson – errr… WHO THE HELL IS THIS BITCH ANYWAY???

Hope you enjoyed. I enjoyed it, too! (Goes inside his room. Locks his door.)

Categories: Tsismisan

TIGBAKAN–LAGLAGAN–FHM

This post isn’t supposed to be posted today. Hell Blogger who seemed to have gone haywire for the nth time already. But anyways, I’ve posted it. Enjoy!

Prelude *updated*:

Before the babes, I was tagged. Hehehe. The rules? I submitted my name to their comments section. Then she will give comments/suggestions about my blog corresponding to the words below.

If you want to be tagged, just include “Buruguduystunstuguduystun me, Neil” on the footer of your comment. Ok?

Click this if you want to read their responses. Skip this if don’t want to. ^_^

From Juicee:

1. Random
Hoy you never told me to link you, I could have read your posts way back if I knew..

Hehehe… it’s not my habit to popularize my blog with link exchange. If I really like a blog, I automatically link it. Anyways, thanks for linking me, too ^_^

2. Challenge
Try not to associate anything with Korean stuff in your life for 2 weeks. Kaya? Woot!

Uhmmm… it’s hard. Cannot be. Next!

3. Color
The blue in your blog. I like that color

I really lurrve blue. My life is so blue… my room is blue. Our house is blue. Blue-blue-blue.

4. LIKE
I like how your posts are so straightforward…

Thanks. In real life, I’m straightforward.

5. FIRST MEMORY
Hmm, I forgot, I mean I’ve been to your blog waay back.. refresh me?

Oh… I can’t recall… hmmm… You have a good memory.

6. ANIMAL
A zebra? Coz your blog is full of white and blue.. hahah labo!

Heehonk. Nyihheeeeee. Bite.

7. QUESTION
What’s your favorite Korean movie?

Wet Dreams. Joke. My Sassy Girl.

8. SONG
Since you’re so Korean, More Than Words by G.O.D (they split up right?) I love their version, coz it’s Korean. hehe

Errr… I don’t like GOD. Yes, they are already disbanded. But my real faves are Lexy, Wheesung, Lee Su Yeong and Kim Beom Su.

From Anje:

RANDOM
`I was surprised you commented. LOL

Surprise!

CHALLENGE
`Make a post using gay linog. Ahahaha! TRIP NA TOH!

Hay. Ang hitad. Binebera mo akelsh. Bruha ka! Lol

COLOR
`Blue. Color of your blog eh

Ah ok. Hehehe. Love blue.

LIKE
`You’re very friendly

Thank you, bitch. Joke!!!

FIRST MEMORY
`yung comment mo kanina. LOL

Oh… uh… err… who are you?

ANIMAL
`Jaguar. Kasi you know how to ‘’spot” a good post? Adiiik

Talaga lang, ha? How did you know?

QUESTION
`Link exchange tayooo?

Ermmm… I’ll read your blog first from top to bottom. Yiheeee!

SONG
`Mang Jose by PnE. It just popped out when I saw your header. Heheee

I hate that song. I like “The Order Taker”. ^_^

————–

FHM Wootness

Oh… malakas lang ang trip ko.

I was browsing interconnecting blogs from one link to another and then I noticed Baylon’s.

I didn’t realize, I drafted an email about the 100 FHM Sexiest in the World a few weeks ago. Hehe. Just to make sure my pornographic juices are still working and cumming—err, I mean coming, here’s how I look at these babes on my mag and uploaded it here.

Anyways… just wondering.

FHM 100 Sexiest in the World? I mean–the whole world? I don’t believe it. Even those scumbags from the remotest shanties in our planet recognize small time whores like Jaycee Parker? It’s not.

It’s just that these are the girls only recognized by Filipinos (and Filipina-orgasmic citizens of the world) as the most juicilicious of all.

Even Jang-Geum was victimized by these crooks…

Hahaha. OMG. I can’t believe I did this. Go on, continue reading.

Drum rolls, please…

—–

100. Katya Santos – Err… chubby. My mother look-alike. (mom *giggles*)

99. Jaboom Twins – Cute. Short-legged.

98. Kit Barraquias – Continue your studies, ok?

97. Gem Ramos – Show? Show? Show!

96. Jen Rosendahl – Tall. Jawbones. Nice nips. Thanks, Eat Bulaga ^_^

95. Jamilla – Donde estas… jamilla–oh sorry. She’s devirginized already.

94. Sheree – Yihee. Sheree! Yihee! My favorite Hotbabe.

93. Nadine Schmidt – OMG… Nadine? Hey, long time no see! Where have you been? In London?

92. Bea Alonzo – Fugly. Chubby.

91. Denise Montecillo – Nyahahaha. Wala lang.

90. Apreal Tolentino – Thunder. Thunder.

89. Carol Garcia – Dunno her. Who is she?

88. Jenny Miller – Oh… ah ok. Sexy.

87. Kyla – HOWAW! KYLA—drool… drool… wish I could see Kyla wearing bikinis. Whohoo!

86. Zara Lopez – Err… a Quezon City Circle regular?

85. Maricar dela Fuente – nyehehe. Still don’t know this gal. Sexy.

84. Kelly Misa – Love her. Ponds, KFC–then partnered with a gay Piolo Pascual. Love you Kelly!

83. Jocelyn Oxelade – Super fine.

82. Jaymee Joaquin – Umm, is ‘Bora’ still existing?

81. Kristine Hermosa – go to Malaysia. You’re super famous there, chubby. ^_^

80. Kat Alano – Bwahaha. Wowowee! Sosy High.

79. Alessandra de Rossi - Love this girl. This sexy naughty bitchy Alex. bow.

78. Ruffa Mae Quinto – Wow. Todo na to. Whooh! As in to the hayest level na to. Okay?

77. Belinda Bright - Argh. Monster! Mommy! Mommy!

76. Regine Velasquez - Err… just sing na lang.

75. Yasmien Kurdi – HOWAAAT??? SEXIEST??? I THOUGHT PIGS ARE NOT ALLOWED??? FHM??

74. Sheena Halili – Err… gf of Rainier Castillo? Very polite girl. Cute.

73. Renee Summer – Oh. The FHM summer issue girl. Seriously.

72. Pia Guanio – Chika Minute lady. Eat Bulaga Babe. Only if she wears her makeup.

71. Andrea del Rosario – Err… wear a mask.

70. Pops Fernandez – aging but still ravishing. Hahaha. My classmate look-alike

69. Elisha Cuthbert – I dunno her.

68. Ryza Cenon – Who is she? Hehehe. Just kidding.

67. Jopay Paguia – My fave Sexbomb dancer. Go Jopay!

66. Ornusa Cadness - Borgy Manotoc. I only know Borgy.

65. Lj Reyes – Hmmm… who is she, too?

64. Lee Young Ae – AAARGH!! My JANG-GEUM? SEXY? BRAAARRGH!!

63. Julia Clarete – Whoo! Rockista! Artista! Durugista.! Cool! Sobrang ok, tol!

62. Angelina Jollie – Tomb Raider. I don’t like her lips. But she’s humanitarian.

61. Gwen Garci – Dumb-ass bitch. Really. Totally stupid.

60. Kitchie Nadal - Waaargh! Kitchie! Gotta keep my ears on her music.

59. Lindsay Lohan – I dunno but I never listened nor watched her sing.

58. Eula Valdez – Groovy. Maharot cover girl. Hotta Momma.

57. Zhang Zi Yi - Crouch Me, Geisha. I have a Hidden Dragon. Roar.

56. Janelle Jamer – Wowowee! Wowowee! A Ruffa Mae rip-off

55. Nadine Samonte – Oh my god… Nadine… o Nadine… I can die now…

54. Jackie Rice - a dumb SS. Really. Hell–who cares about intelligence, eh? ^_^

53. Chynna Ortaleza – too skinny

52. Aliya Parcs – Who the hell is she?

51. Rochelle Pangilinan – hmm… she’s not beautiful, but she dances sensually. ^_^

50. Nicole Hernandez – AMP girl.

49. Isabel Oli - Gorgeous face. True blue Filipina. I love Cebuanas. Philippine
goodness

48. Cherry Lou – Fatso. Penguin.

47. Maja Salvador – Again… attempted to be partnered to John. It never worked.

46. Cristine Reyes – a goddess. A good actress. Better than her elder sis.

45. Sofie – Who is she???

44. Valerie Concepcion – Teenage moms really are damn so sexy.Cover girl for this month.

43. Bubbles Paraiso – Ah ok. sister of Paolo Paraiso. Paolo is a ham. Is she a ham, too?

42. Ara Mina – Is she my mother? I think I am viewing a Mr. Marshmallow right now.

41. Michelle Madrigal - Ah. SCQ gal. So?

40. Iza Calzado – Euuwe. Euuwe. Euuwe. Hehheey. Encantadia. Amihan. Hangin! Whoosh!

39. Ehra Madrigal – Hmm… I don’t know her. An Umbra, it says? What’s an Umbra, anyway?

38. Marian Rivera - You make me shine… shine! Darna! Nyahahah!

37. Jeni Hernandez – Vandolph? Oh… girlfriend of Vandolph, you say.

36. Mariel Rodriguez - she’s unpredictably dumb but god damn gorgeous. Nayaha.

35. Maureen Larazabal - Too tall. Too surgically-modified. No comment.

34. Cassandra Ponti - I don’t like her nips. cover it, please. ^_^

33. Jessica Alba - Hotta hotta. Hotta hotta.

32. Maria Sharapova – Tennis pornstars, anyone?

31. Aubrey Miles – Beautiful mother. Oops… did I mention something… mo-th-e-r?

30. Regine Tolentino – Too old.

29. Chinggay Andrada – Intelligent. Ummm.. smart, and… Responsible?

28. Jaycee Parker – A Whore.

27. Toni Gonzaga – I love her hosting. I love her punchlines. I love her. But she’s not sexy

26. Precious Lara Quigaman – Tee-Vee babe Miss World title holder. Groovy.

25. Camille Prats – Lard. Butter. Margarine. Tallow. Oil. Fat?

24. Vanna garcia - she looks so suplada.

23. Phoemela Barranda – Pot session. Sniff sniff. Swallow. Syringe. High. Vapor.

22. Chesca Garcia – Too mestiza. Too intimidating. I’m melting…

21. Jennifer Lee – oh… Viva Hot Babe. Ok.

20. Maui Taylor - Hmm… can I purchase a barbie doll instead?

19. Rica Peralejo – Thank God she’s fair-skinned. Broil her. what does she look like?

18. Nancy Castiglione – Mother. Oops. Mom. Oops. Ina. Nanay. Momsky. Mamuy. Waah!

17. Anne Curtis - Love me, Anne! Love me!

16. Iwa Moto – ok. is she not in good terms with (insert name here/entire world) again?

15. Heart Evangelista - Damn so delicious. I can die now.

14. Angelica Panganiban – Boobs na tinubuan ng mukha.

13. Asia Agcaoili – Teach sex education. Don’t pose–oops! Don’t look at me. Just teach.

12. Tanya Garcia - Carlos Miguel–twin hearts… we will never be apart..

11. Francine Prieto – OMG… rape me! rape me! Joke. I respect Ate Marie.

10. Bianca Gonzales – Too pinay to be true. Beautiful.

9. Pauleen Luna – Hmmm… humble but chubby… hmmm… chubby talaga eh.

8. Iya Villania – Oh… that Game VJ on IBC13, now one of Willie’s concubines. Hehehe

7. Cindy Kurleto - God. OMG. A goddess… I worship you. If she sings, just look at her ^_^

6. Jennylyn Mercado - cheapstake. What happened to her? Regularly dumped?

5. Bianca King – Oh… thanks for that TJ hotdog. Want my TJ hotdog, too? No really…

4. Diana Zubiri - God—OMG— I can die now, Sang’gre Danaya… kill me…

3. Angel Locsin – (inside the bathroom… 10 minutes later) Hey, I only pooped, ok? (Gets some alcohol)

2. Katrina Halili – (inside my room… 30 minutes later) I only changed my clothes, ok? (takes a bath)

1. Scarlett Johansson – errr… WHO THE HELL IS THIS BITCH ANYWAY???

Hope you enjoyed. I enjoyed it, too! (Goes inside his room. Locks his door.)

Categories: Tsismisan

DARN YOU BROWNOUT!

Darn! Darn! Darn! Darn you, brownout! Darna!

Ok. I am so pissed off with today’s multiplied sudden halt of electricity in our subdivision. Arrrgh! I was typing my latest entry this morning. Well, not much of a show-off, but I am not used to drafting my articles in MS Word then copy-pasting it since my super-latest Office 2007 has problems with punctuation marks when text is transferred to a browser. I was in the middle of my story-telling then suddenly, some exaggerated female neighbor of ours shouted “Ay diyos ko… (unintelligible words here)”.

My post instantly disappeared…

Aargh! I hate you, Diether Ocampo!

It’s 7 pm already. No… my younger brother interrupted me and had myself waiting for hours with , it’s 2 am already. Grrrr. I scolded him. He can’t force any appeals. He has no choice but to say sorry.

If it’s not the brownout, I would have been in our apartment in Indang right now oopsy-daisying with my housemates (err… Big Brother wootness).

I hate brownouts. I even wonder how it was coined ‘brown’ though you can only see yourself and the color of your third-world pubic hair everywhere.

—————–

Basically there are 3 types of brownouts that have wasted so much precious seconds of my entire life:

1. The scheduled maintenance brownout.

This is the most unusual brownout. The most significant, yet seldom to occur in our area. Maybe our neighborhood doesn’t care if someone in our subdivision’s circuit flickers and hints of a major fire hit us. Meralco cuts our connection to the uptown in order to, well, track if there are any dimwits in our place who steals electricity, or if an outrageously stupid Maya pecks or perch on a transformer or an open wire.

I’m quite happy with these maintenance brownouts. Not only that it’ll force me to finish all my projects earlier, it also gives me more justifiable reason to go to SM Dasma or elsewhere where I would not have sauna service at home. It’s so freakin hot during daytime cut-offs!

2. The unscheduled-yet-hearsaid brownout.

Err… why do these people purportedly keep scheduled brownouts a secret? Because they want to commercialize their locally-monopolized water distribution? We are not stupid. We will not buy from them. We will intentionally bring our pails and drums in front of their house –in front of their flabbergasted ass faces–and fetch water somewhere. Pang-asar, right?

Thank God for my mother who has the highest rate of Public Relations in our subdivision, and we are not left behind from these chismaxes.

3. The shockingly surprising brownout

Aaaargh!! I hate this! I hate this! I detest God for having this kind of incident to exist in our world! It pulls liters of blood from my feet to my brain! Arrrgh! Erkh…kkhk–gulg—brrp–pfft– (*seizures*)

This ruins my whole day especially when I’m using my PC. More particular if I’m using non-emergency-saving applications like Photoshop (where I used to do my comic series images) and internet browsers (where I used to type my posts impromptu online).

I was nearly finishing my post at 7 am. Then my screen turned black. Time stopped all of a sudden. I was stunned. Wish I could throw a huge stone at Meralco for not announcing this cut-off today.

Why didn’t I include blackouts? It’s a hell lot detestable than brownouts. Anywhere in your province, city, or the whole Luzon, you cannot do anything enjoyable. You cannot savor the wonders of modern-day technological convenience. You’ll be brought back to your parent’s past decades where tambuli is your cell phone and Langit-lupa is your fave Olympic event. Talk about burping in a yawnfest. I’d rather sleep.

—————-

WAAAAAH!!! PUREFOODS WON!!!! YAHOOO!!!!
HURAAAH!!! YIPEEE!!! MAGPAPAINOM DAW SI MANNY!!!

Errr…

In fact, I’ve been unenthusiastic to PBA game watching since Sunkist found themselves harvesting kangkongs. Basketball has never been my sport. Blame it on my fractured arm.

I’m very happy that a clean-performing team like Purefoods won the conference with 90-83. Because of it, I’ve been hooked to basketball–not with playing that sport–but to read and view everything about PBA. Not NBA… PBA.

I’m so proud to have a Filipino pack of smashing cagers to be inspired with.

Categories: Tsismisan

DIETHER OCAMPO IS GONE

So much for my sensationalism, eh?

——-

I live in Dasma.

(???)

Dasmarinas, Cavite, assholes.

To go to Indang using your proletarian prowess, you need to ride a bus or a jeep going to, of course, Indang. Along the way you’ll be passing through Langkaan (has a lot of jackfruits), FCIE (has a lot of woots), Manggahan (has a lot of mangoes–duh?), Conchu (has a lot of–uh… Chinese?), and so on and so forth blah-blah-blah whatever. The rest of the towns are insignificant…

In Manggahan, there’s this building built circa 2002 with a tarpauline (is this correctly spelled?) of Agua Vida with a seemingly-wholesome-short-haired-offspring-free Diether Ocampo holding a phallus–joke–mineral bottle.

After gazing through the window of the jeepney 45 minutes ago, I saw a boxer delishly gourmandizing a chicken drumstick in his grip in front of that establishment.

Diether Ocampo is gone.

—————

STAPLES

Oh great. Haven’t you noticed? Each time you place a new cartridge of staples in your stapler, you need to staple one staple on its stable to close the stapler? Sheesh… wasting a staple.

Never been successful.

—————

If you want to read my mind, continue reading…

I WOULD RUN AWAY

It’s hard to convince everyone in my circle how stubborn I am when it comes to accepting responsibility offers. It is, however, very difficult to simply say that ‘n’ word Kuya Butterfly has been telling me to respond whenever these people approach me and convince me with their conscience-digging elaborations of how important my role is to ‘the people’.

Nowadays, I’m being dumbfounded when ‘these’ people are conversing with me. Why? I don’t know how to tactfully respond with ‘I cannot do’ because of my presumptions–thinking that when I say ‘no’, they will bombard me with consecutive lines like Why? How come? What’s your valid reason? Do you think ‘they’ will be happy? What about ‘them’?

Them–counted in millions of letters.

They used to, or usually say, Neil, you have the greatest capacities of being a student leader. You can lead them. With your (enumerate my greatest talents from one to one hundred), you can easily (cannot be disclosed).

A person could be instantly qualified through his greatest considerable experiences and accomplishments from the past and, too, exaltations from his/her closest peers. Or possible, exaltations like his greatest considerable experiences and accomplishments of his past from his/her closest peers. Because of it, there can be more possibilities that job opportunities will pile up in front of you without your awareness and approval.

Yet, these opportunities sometimes are disregarding the person being suffocated by them, moreso if people are very confident that the person they trusted is competitive–so-called competitive

I’m just a human… I’m no multi-tasking operating system of yours.

They might have been used to Neil very busy with academics, Neil very busy to the publication, Neil very busy to ‘extra-curricular’ education, Neil very busy to ‘intercampus’ involvement…

Not anymore.

These obligations and opportunities slash responsibilities seemed to flow in my nasal cavities just like any other ordinary fresh air in Indang, Cavite, but minute-by-minute, when I depreciate, carbon dioxide fills-up my lungs, ready to be yawned.

What happens next?

On my bed, snoring with my mind kept somewhere else…

I’m being swallowed by my presumptions in arguments being served over the table of my life. I don’t know how to walk around normally without questioning myself where the hell I should indulge myself to…

I’ve lost directions.

I’ve lost my opportunities to greater education…

But it’s not appropriate to blame it all to them…

It’s all my fault of hitching on the jeepney they’re riding without inquiring the driver whether he’ll avail my student discount or not…

I’m so confused…

Categories: Personalan

WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME GO?

I’m devastated.

I’ve already left them. Prematurely. Unprofessionally. Unconsiderably. Unintelligently.

I ultimately know myself that when these obligations keep on dogging around my space, or perhaps pile up into layers of my lasagna, I would be very uncomfortable to eat it up to its last sauce…

I will not be an efficient News Editor.
I will not be an efficient Production Director.
I will not be an efficient Class President.
I will not be an efficient CEGP Provincial Consultant.

I am so confused. So perturbed with all that has happened to me. My neural chains have gone haywire.

I am effective, but I cannot be efficient.

Would I be preferred in spite of my actions right now?

‘The more people oblige me to fulfill certain responsibilities which I considered objectionable in my part, the more stubborn and impudent I’ll be.” – Jang Woo (My Girl – 2006)

Zeus asked me to return to The Gazette. Shit.

I can’t. I don’t want.

“I prefer not to…” – Bartleby the Scrivener

It just makes me teary-eyed.

Now, someone is ‘getting through my conscience’ to be ‘allegedly’ appointed as CEGP Provincial Consultant.

I don’t want to. I don’t want to be forced.

My head is aching now. I am totally out of my own nutshell…

I want space… point blank space…

I’ve been with these responsibilities–a HELL lot of responsibilities. Most of these, however, have been unaccomplished because of my inadequacies…

I don’t want to suffer inasmuch as them, too, just because of my status right now.

What does hiatus really meant for?

Meant for people like me who, for the past few years, have been dredged to these works out of passion that gradually turned out into a half-hearted obligation? I don’t want such kind of setup in my life right now.

I’ve been losing my senses. I’ve lost my very own self because of these. Now, I don’t know my directions–my real interests–all because of these…

I’m lost… I need to get rid of these… for a year…

Please… release me… let me go…

“You need to get high up, not far away” - Ju Yoo Rin (My Girl-2006)

I need both.

I hate it.

Categories: Personalan

WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME GO?

I’m devastated.

I’ve already left them. Prematurely. Unprofessionally. Unconsiderably. Unintelligently.

I ultimately know myself that when these obligations keep on dogging around my space, or perhaps pile up into layers of my lasagna, I would be very uncomfortable to eat it up to its last sauce…

I will not be an efficient News Editor.
I will not be an efficient Production Director.
I will not be an efficient Class President.
I will not be an efficient CEGP Provincial Consultant.

I am so confused. So perturbed with all that has happened to me. My neural chains have gone haywire.

I am effective, but I cannot be efficient.

Would I be preferred in spite of my actions right now?

‘The more people oblige me to fulfill certain responsibilities which I considered objectionable in my part, the more stubborn and impudent I’ll be.” – Jang Woo (My Girl – 2006)

Zeus asked me to return to The Gazette. Shit.

I can’t. I don’t want.

“I prefer not to…” – Bartleby the Scrivener

It just makes me teary-eyed.

Now, someone is ‘getting through my conscience’ to be ‘allegedly’ appointed as CEGP Provincial Consultant.

I don’t want to. I don’t want to be forced.

My head is aching now. I am totally out of my own nutshell…

I want space… point blank space…

I’ve been with these responsibilities–a HELL lot of responsibilities. Most of these, however, have been unaccomplished because of my inadequacies…

I don’t want to suffer inasmuch as them, too, just because of my status right now.

What does hiatus really meant for?

Meant for people like me who, for the past few years, have been dredged to these works out of passion that gradually turned out into a half-hearted obligation? I don’t want such kind of setup in my life right now.

I’ve been losing my senses. I’ve lost my very own self because of these. Now, I don’t know my directions–my real interests–all because of these…

I’m lost… I need to get rid of these… for a year…

Please… release me… let me go…

“You need to get high up, not far away” - Ju Yoo Rin (My Girl-2006)

I need both.

I hate it.

Categories: Personalan

FOOD FIASCO

Minimize the contrast of this pic. That’s what I’ve eaten last Tuesday.

Why people are hurt when you speak with sincerity and honesty?

We were dining in our apartment in Kaytapos. I’ve contributed for our food. A hundred peso budget. Our housemate slash class chef cooked Tinola. We served it and started munching. Then the rest of the gang stooped on the floor (we don’t have a table–hehehe). Suddenly, I punched a line.

“We should have bought Knorr broth cubes.” The stew looked dull, but it tasted Tinola, though. I whined for the white color. I was very friendly.

Few seconds later, a girl stood up with her plate and glass screeching with mild phrases sounding like “Basta hindi na mahalaga sa akin kung masarap o hindi ang niluluto ko.” With tears edging her eyelids…

Prior to it, “Lagi mo na lang pinagkukumpara luto ko sa mommy mo.”

She got offended.

I apologized a zillion times. I explained. But she’s not satisfied.

I don’t get her the point. Should I continue eating her dishes or just spend my 700-peso weekly allowance with Garlic Chicken and 3 rice from Sizzling Point every night?

What is she whining about?

I’ve apologized to her. 5 times. But she preferred to semi-permanently set her profile in silent mode.

I’m introverted. I’m not sociable. If she doesn’t want anyone to apologize to her even with the greatest or the most submersible verdict unfavorable to her, I don’t care. I’ll live my life. I’m not apologetic 6 times and above. I’ve proven my point, and my point is justifiable. Righteous.

If she doesn’t want my apology, well, my apologies for not apologizing to her again.

And she did her movie-stereotypical retribution.

She cooked a tasteless Champorado.

They intentionally invited me to be the first one to eat it. And so I dived the serving spoon at the stove. Since it’s tasteless, I loudly opened the intentionally-scarcely-left-overed sugar bottle and splashed it to my bowl. Great. A pinch of sugar came out of the bottle. I graced mixing it then loudly opened the Milo jar and poured 2 teaspoons in it, hoping that its sugar will help my taste buds work well. I left the rest of that tasteless self-served-flavoring Champorado tastless in the pot. I climbed upstairs and ate it for 10 seconds, then poured another scoop of tasteless champorado to my bowl and added sugar coming from a bottle intentionally hidden in the cabinets. There’s sugar in the cabinets pala? I climbed upstairs, memorized a hundred Japanese nouns for 15 seconds, and went down–with a hundred pesos in my pocket. I went outside our apartment, then returned holding a half-kilo SUGAR pack in front of her.

Someone exclaimed ‘Me asukal pa tayo, ah?’

I retorted.

“Talaga? Well, I thought wala na. E di bumili ako.” (Oh really? Well, I thought we don’t have any. So I bought one.) I harshly grabbed a knife, sliced to open the sugar pack and opened the sugar bottle–filling it up to its rim. Then I added, with a seemingly intimidating tone:

“In case wala na tayong sugar, sabihin niyo lang. May pera ako.” (In case we don’t have sugar left, tell me. I have money.)

I’m not stupid.

I’ll do this again with soy sauce, patis, salt, MSG, oyster sauce, pepper, cayenne pepper, flour, cornstarch, bay leaf, ginger, onions, and garlic if she repeats such immature revenge.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang gusto niyang ipalabas.
(I don’t know what she is up to.)

She cooks for us. She is doing her role in our apartment–while me, the so-called walking encyclopedia, will do the rest of tutorials, dishwashing, room-cleaning, and etc.

Though I can’t cook, I can taste with good flavor. I love food seasoning. I eat food seasoning, especially that 3-peso Magic sarap that tastes like chicken.

What should I do?

Categories: Personalan

AYOKONG ISULONG SEOPH

Ok. Super-duper wise strategy of promoting a company with this ‘advertise for free’ advocacy. Arrgh. It’s promoting dreck.

Ha! Maybe I haven’t realized those people who’ve added ISULONG SEOPH links in their sites or perhaps created a site bannering ISULONG SEOPH on their URLs or headers are fooled. Yes, there’s a prize. A generous prize from promoting something you don’t exactly know or doesn’t have someting to help you in your site but to freely advertise and publish more craps aside from this.

Instead of this SEO purchasing advertisement, they will only spend a hundred thousand bucks for those hundreds of fools who’ve constructed a stupid ISULONG SEOPH site. ARGH.

What if I promote not to promote this pandemoniously stupid blog/site crap, huh?

AYOKONG ISULONG SEOPH

Will I win?

But on the contrary, though I project my adversarian motive of lambasting these fools promoting SEO, I, too am the fool of propagating it. I’m so mean. Median and mode.

AYOKONG ISULONG SEOPH.

I’ll win. AYOKONG ISULONG SEOPH.

Sorry matamaan. Hindi kayo mananalo (You’ll not win.)

————–

CLASSES ARE SUSPENDED

Oh, I’m so happy we’ll not see Mr. Theatre Actor today. Our classes are retardedly suspend at last.

Retardedly? Our university is isolated from urban civilization. And it spells Cavite State University.

We’ve even fooled around students walking towards our campus–opposite those thousands of overexcited guys and gals with 7.00 enclosed in their pockets who, at first, didn’t believe me that our seemingly slowly updated university has suspended afternoon classes. Ha. They are stunned.

Categories: Eskwelahan, Tsismisan