MEMOIRS OF A CEDY WANNABE

PRECAUTION:

Citizens of the dawning age of senesence, please step aside. I’m pretty sure you will not relate with all the youngster crappiness of an arithmaticless wide-foreheaded pimple-farmer like me. Bwehehehe.

——

I was really really addicted to cartoons. Addicted so much, I nearly stowed away because of not allowing us to watch if we can’t make ’siesta’ (noon shortnaps). I was questioning all the mothers out there–

Why the hell force us to sleep during your adult unholy hours? We were born to be young and rabid and playfully magulo all the time. Don’t pull us to share the same afternoon drowziness. You almost killed us!

Enough.

Before, TV networks used to showcase valuable and worth-watching animated series which eventually turned blockbuster hits in the late 1990s. They sky-rocketed Camille Prats and Tom Taus. Their cuteness and fame brought the insecurity out of me, thinking, “Why these kids had the opportunity to have passports and shoot abroad while me, the apparent white-skinned anemic PreComputer 2000 wizard Caloocan slum kid, tries to be contented to Star City and domestic Philippine Airlines flights?”

With their Tagalized series and ear-catchy Tagalog soundtracks, no wonder kids of those years can still recall every single (or at least a bigger percentage) lyric of the opening theme songs of those Japanese cartoons derived from fairytales, novels, and short stories from Europe and China.

And to test how I was proficient in Tagalog in my non-erectile yester years, I listed all the songs I can remember–from the time I can’t distinguish the difference between volcanic ash and sand, until I realized masturbation doesn’t help me improve mentally.

—–

I can’t sort these chronologically. Hope you don’t mind. ^_^

—–
Can you remember the titles of the animes with these OSTs? And oh, I intentionally obscured cue words to make them more puzzling.

Can you sing this?

1. Maglalakbay ako patungo sa kawalan
Upang hamunin ‘tong pangarap sa buhay
At susuungin ko itong kadiliman
Makita ko lang ang liwanag ng katarungan…
Chenchedenchenden cheden (then the logo shows up)

Or this?

2. Habang nabubuhay, manalig ka
Lagi kang may kasama, may kaibigan ka
At kung ikaw ay nalulungkot
Kung ikaw ay natatakot
Wala kang gagawin kundi ako’y tawagin…

Ako si ____
Sa bawat oras nariyan,
Tutulong sa nangangailangan
Ako’y maaasahan sa lahat ng bagay….

Hmmm, this one:

3. Kami’y narito asahan niyong magtatanggol
Makikipaglaban para sa kapayapaan
(chenchererererenchen cherereren chererererereeurrnn–)
Ang lahat ng nilalang dito ay may karapatan
(Sa magandang bukas)
Kung mayroong gumugulo ay wag mag-alala
Kami ang dakilang tagapagtanggol niyo sa lahat ng oras
Handa kaming tumulong
Ang aming mga kapangyarihan alay sa karapatan…
Kami’y narito asahan niyong magtatanggol
Makikipaglaban para sa kapayapaan at kaayusan
Kami’y asahan niyo hanggang sa dulo ng mundo.

How about this one:

4. Waksin niyo na ang iyong luha
Pilitin tawanan ang problema
Habang bata ay magsaya
Makulay ang mundo basta’t mangarap ka
Sa bawat pagsubok na makikita
Huwag mong hayaang madapa ka
Tibayan mo ang loob
Pagkatapos ng unos, ligaya ang dulot
Sadyang ganyan ang buhay, kailangang magsanay
Mapaglarong tadhana susubukin ang tibay
Kaya’t kumilos ka’t mag-isip, mag-aral
Magandang bukas, sa yo ay nakalaan…

Perhaps this one:

5. Sino nga ba siyang nakasuot pula
Hila ng mga usa
Puti ang balbas niya, siya’y mataba
Lahat ng bata’y naghihintay sa kanya
Namimigay siya ng mga regalo
Tuwing sasapit ang araw ng pasko
Mula sa araw na ito, maghihintay kami sa ‘yo
Saan ka ba nagmumula?
Sana doon kami kasama mo
Nais naming makita kung pa’no ginagawa
Mga regalong pinamimigay mo
Nais namin…
Laruan! Libro! Damit na pamasko!
Uli— (censored from the clip. Damn you, ABS)

I loved this one:

6. Ngunit hanggang kailan, hanggang kailan
Ito mananatiling panaginip
Sabik na ko, sabik na ko sa iyong
Yakap at halik…

And this one

7. Humayo ka kaibigang _____
Maglakbay kung saan mo man naisin
Anong (censored from the OBB)

—-ehh…
Sige ___, Humayo ka
Humayo ka’t maglakbay pawad
‘Wag kalilimutan kami…

Or this very special ‘tribute for moms’:

8. Aking ina, mahal kong ina
Pagmamahal mo aking ina
Yakap mo sa akin, hinahanap ko
Init ng pag-ibig, kumot ng bunso
Sa kita ng pagkakahimbing
Yakap mo ang gigising.

Try this:

9. ____, ____,
Anakpawis ka sa kabundukan
____, ____,
Tahanan mo ang kalikasan
Luntiang parang, nasisikatan ng gintong araw
____, ____, tahanan mo ang kabundukan

____, ____, (Endless ___ with yoodle tune)

My sensualities aroused because of this:

10. Nakita ko ang larawan mo
At muling nagbalik sa akin ang lahat
Ang malambing na tingin at ako
Ang nagbibigay ng musika sa mundo
Sinabi mo ako ang himig ng iyong byulin
Mga __ at rosas na ginto
At ikaw ang yugto ng aking daigdig
Libutin natin ang mundo at bahaghari
Lalalala….
Rosas na marikit, bigay sa iyo mahal
Lalalala…. (unintelligible lyrics… err, damn you ABS)

I almost forgot about this:

11. Si ___ at ____
Kambal ng tadhana
Di susuko sa pagsubok…

—-

All these shows were shown on ABS-CBN many centuries ago. Just testing if my neurons are not gravely affected by excessive…

THE HELL I KNOW ABOUT BEING STUPID

PRELUDE:

It’s been a long time since I last posted here. Had two weeks of senselessness, financial inadequacies, and oh… university games. University game ‘announcing’, I suppose. Err… ‘Attention. Students not participating any track events, please clear the track!’ Damn those students who don’t understand English…

———

WHY ESTUPIDORMITORIAN?

Why estupidong pinoy dormitorian (Stupid Filipino Dormitorian) ?

Hmm…

I dunno either. I am stupid.

Duh? Can’t you read?

———
Joke.

So much for being brash. It’s just that each time I am asked where I currently reside in Indang, Cavite, I always reply with (in Tagalog),

“Nagdo-dorm po ako sa isang apartment sa Kaytapos”

Well, something like that. And the interviewer doesn’t fail not to notice my vocabulary contradictions. Stupid, isn’t it?

CRAP, AND MORE CRAP AHEAD

So I am the semi-appointed Editor in Chief of our 20-page community newsletter for Mr. Jun del Rosario. Then I have to write news articles and editorial columns. Then I’m the head for the Portraiture section of our photo exhibit on Wednesday. Then I have to compose then submit a letter of permission to Ma’am Diloy. Then I have to take pictures for Portrait, Landscape, Architecture, and Human Interest in Manila for the best shots. Then I have to settle an interview with Mr. Almar Red for our Management Information System case study about their prototype ‘prepaid transactions’ in De La Salle – Dasmariñas’ library. Then I have to study for our three pending long exams in Communication Theories, DBMS, and Nihongo. Then I’m gonna portray ‘Kapitan Tiago’ for our ‘Noli Me Tangere’ play production on Friday. Then we have to draft our MIS case study on Friday. Then I have to consolidate and encode my resources for our baby thesis in Communication theories. Then and then and all over again I’m gonna faint already.

And I have not started yet.

Jeez, blame it to the Intramurals week where I became the 2-day most popular male for having the (ehem… Storm signal alert) most splendid sports announcer voice/diction in the University. Brrr. (Ooops… no requests of podcasting. I know I’ll make it worse ^_^.)

Cramming is the best thing we could do with all the laziness that overloaded our muscles for the past few weeks. University games is the opportunity to shine... we had no classes for a week. So why toil for our academe if everybody seems not to care to touch their pens during these days? To make everybody happy, no one should kill our enjoyment.

Else, I’ll kill.

——–

I’m very very sorry if I can’t digress my intelligent juices to compose essays about politics and socio-cultural issues. I just can’t find my inspiration to do such, now that I’m losing my appetite on my Journalism course… I miss the days where student politicians debate with me.

IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS ENCANTADIA

AWW!

I was a Hobbit raised in a family of 6 who used to love Mexican telenovelas. My Tita Kokak–err–Norlyn’s the culprit. Thalia’s the real proponent of the Filipinos’ Mexican madness. Marimar killed Mula Sa Puso out of me. Channel 9 became the no. 1 station in the country. Then I repeated playing Andrew E’s “Humanap Ka ng Panget” song on my WMP11. Ugliness is beauty of Yo Soy Betty La Fea. Then eventually, I found myself studying Spanish instead of the Periodic Table of Elements.

But that was history.

I’m through with the bulging cleavages of the female cast of these telenovelas. I started to be disgusted to the excessive torrid kissing of the opposite sexes. Haciendas, horses, third parties, bastards are off too ‘pocket booky’. I’m not enticed by the typical sensuality of these Mexican series.

Then my mom bought Tikoy.

———–
OH BABY BABY BABY… MY BABY BABY

I heartfully screamed “OMFG–I thought Filipinos are the only good-looking Asians in the world?”. F4’s the suspect. Yi Xun (Lavender) and Xu Xiao Tian (Shan Cai – Meteor Garden) kicked Kristine Hermosa out of her ‘promises’. I was also wrong to presume that 555 is only for canned sardines. Now there’s a boyband. Again, I found myself studying Chinese rather than the Philippine Constitution.

I though it’s history. But that was just the beginning.

All good quality Taiwanese dramas are Anime/comic book-based. If you watch any original dramas from their creative juices, you’ll be yawning big time. Acting is overrated. Stories are hyped. And oh, I only had glanced a significantly few good looking Taiwanese since time immemorial.

And then I cooked Kimchi.

———–
UNTI-UNTING MARARATING…

OMFG—I again interjected, “What the f—Now there are three most good-looking Homo sapiens in Asia!!!”

F— I was so flabbergasted when I finally stumbled on Autumn Fairytale on GMA. Jesus Christ, our Lord— why are Koreans so f—liciously gorgeous? It turns out that the Japanese are the ugliest (only accessorized by their wealth, Anime fashion et al). Korean stories are tragic. Their actors are hunkies. Their actresses are goddesses. Their acting is Hollywood quality. Song Hye-Gyo is gorgeous. Song Hye-Gyo is gorgeous. Song Hye-Gyo is gorgeous. Did I say Song Hye-Gyo is gorgeous?

And the story keeps going and going, until I found myself reading and speaking in Korean rather than my usual English, Tagalog, and Bisaya twang.

For years, I half-heartedly appreciated the efforts of our local drama producers to create masterpieces similar to those of what I’ve mentioned. You know, when I hear April Boy sing “Esperanza”, urgh… I turned nuts. I formerly loathe watching Kapamilya shows because of some ‘important reason’. I didn’t even have the effort to crave for Pangako sa Yo though it was phenomenally exceptional across the globe (because I detest ABS before). I thought Filipinos are currently dormant with the foreign waves attacking our republic seashores… from Latin American, to Taiwanese, to Korean…

Then I ate ‘adobo’…

———-

EEUWWWEH! EEEUWWWEH! HE-HEY!

Seeing Encantadia gave me the hopes of Philippine primetime goodness. I was intrapersonally crying with ‘cheers’ (as in cheers) for our national pride. With the story so elaborately narrated, with the CG (Computer-Generated) graphics so intricately designed, with their setting so sophisticatedly toiled by Filipino artisans, no wonder Encantadia (I mean the first Encantadia sequel) will be marked as the best Philippine drama ever produced in the Philippines…

I am an Encantadik. I heart Encantadia and I will always be their no. 1 fan.

And then I received this from the headwriter of Encantadia:

Because of this:

So I then replied with this:

Ang galing, no?

DISEASE

Outline for my CD-Burning sideline in school. Crap, we’re losing bucks this month…

I am diseased.

I woke up this morning around 10 pm with my tummy already in its lowest gastric juice’s pH level, and a super fresh breath (haaah…). I always miss my breakfast. Gives me the guilt since my mom always wake in the morning just to prepare it for us. I faced our 5-foot mirror just to check if another Bulbasaur pops out of my face for the 1243rd time. (To think that I count all the pimples on my face). I curled my head sidewards and notice a bulge on my right neck. I felt it with my fingers. It moves–and it hurts, I told myself.

I sat on the sofa already pestered with holes and wondered…

What happened to me for the past few weeks?

ALZHEIMER’S

I always ponder about my brain’s incapacities to remember in verbatim details the things that transpired. Whenever I try to sit down and hasten my delta waves, I end up eating Capuccino a la Brian Bernardo (4 parts Milo powder, 1/2 part water… ‘papak’ as we call it). I can’t remember anything else unimportant but the worst things.

Skipping my blog routine is difficult for me. I seldom take notes of what I should post. I’m used to type everything on-the-spot that’s why each time I puke every comic balloon that appeared beside other people’s heads, I see tapeworms. I sometimes ask myself–is it because of my super-late sleeping hours? Or masturbation? Or the contraindications of Extra Joss? Very very difficult for me.

You’ve been reading tapeworms, I guess.

Ching!
————
RESPIRATORY INFECTION

Yesterday, I was diagnosed with inflamed lymph nodes on my neck. Weak lungs, it implies as the doctor inserted his thermometer under my armpit. He said, if my lymph nodes around my neck bulges, I have some infection in my lungs. I don’t know what kind of infection the doctor is understating, but the way my doctor looks at my mom I sense something expensive. Ching.

I never smoke but my nose regularly swims on daily kilogram dosage of silt and particulates in the air. Now, my stomach is over-populated with two 800 mg of Cotrimoxazole (antibacterial) caplet, three Diclofenac Sodium (anti inflammatory) tab, one Sodium Ascorbate (Vitamin C) capsule, and Thumbelina (well… she’s delicious, I just can’t help it but swallow her).

————–
AN-AN

I was horrendously suffering with itching on my arms.

I thought my mom’s Skin White soap is effective to whiten my elbow. Definitely it’s not. It’s an-an pala.

F*ck. For the very first time in my life I have an-an. Brrgh. Gross. I’ve never been unhygienic in my entire freakin’ life. It’s a very small patch, but it really pissed me off. Luckily I found a clove of garlic in the kitchen. I squished the fungi into dimwits. Now, they’re history.

————-

WEREWOLF SYNDROME

I’m always teased by my high school classmates. Aside from having a very wide forehead (they just chant “Johnson Wax yata yan…” as if my forehead is shining shimmering splendid), they always agitate the words ‘veterinary’, ‘Simba’, ‘Dracula‘ among others. That’s because of my ’sungki’.

I have an abnormally-grown left canine tooth that pissed my public pronunciations regularly. My lips are always hooked on to it that gives me greater tendencies to stutter and mispronounce lip syllabications. Not only that it gave me the difficulty to vocally express eloquently, but I always have the tension of having these people looking at my ’sungki’. I chew my words because my lips are hooked on my sungki. We never prioritized having our monthly remittances be spent on tooth braces.

But my mom found someone…

You know the non-licensed false teeth molders featured in Imbestigador last month? We have one here in our subdivision and luckily ’she’ and my mom are in good terms. I know she’s unlicensed for not directly answering my mom’s inquiry, but her good intention to help other people with the quality of false teeth, braces, and retainers she makes in a very affordable price is commendably amenable (amen! whohoo!). But I’m worrying about her rival non-licensed, as well as licensed, dentists in our subdivision since she has the most clients of all.

She’s a licensed dental technician alrighty. She was obligated to renew it (her license when she wasn’t married yet need to be re-registered again) and show us her certification black-and-white that’s why for 2 days, I’m not eating stainless steel yet.

See? I told you… people are intimidated to me. Intimidation is the best policy. I should’ve not demostrated to her how califragilistically skeptic I am in terms of ‘aura’.

Honestly, I’m not sure…

Do semi-braces worth 2000 pesos each?

Plus, I was not in a cozy, alcohol-scented, airconditioned atmosphere when ’she’ plunged the wet ceramic mold on my teeth. I smell acrylic paint, tilapia, and Coca-cola. Thinking of hygiene, I think she fails it. But the results that manifested on her happy customers makes me think twice.

Ha. Hopefully my mom has a very good decision… now that we are having problems with her bouncing (boink-boink) cheques. She should’ve disclosed it to us before. Now, I’m very eager to advertise my 40-peso worth CD-Burning business here.

——————–

I’ve had a lot of happy customers for my personalized CD covered outputs with hard-to-download music. Thank you Lord for teaching me how to self-orient Photoshop and hacking et al.

MY ASIATIC BLOG NOW ON BETA MODE – I MEAN UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Yep guys, I officially declare my blog ‘My Asiatic Blog’ not being asiatic unlike before I used to since its previous dreck Friendster version.

In Layman’s term, my blog is UNDER CONSTRUCTION. Not Blogger Beta, but UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

I am currently drawing (and painting) the images to be used for the sidebars, especially the header. A some-kind-of-a rennovation, I suppose since I’ll be using the same motif–colors, etc.

Like what I’ve posted before, it’ll be “ESTUPIDORMITORIAN”. More apt. More fitted to my present personality. Dormitorian living in an apartment. Screech all over.

———-

Oh, I’m just having some CD Burning here (worth 40 pesos hehehehe, you want?) so just wait for my comic strip.

I promise–I’ll post a longitudinal (vertical) comic strip every Friday. Hope you enjoy it.

Later!

HYGIENE

1st day. Friday, September 1. 4 PM, Semi Jeepney terminal, Indang Town Plaza

One look and I knew iba na
Malagkit dumikit ang tingin ng mata
One smile, iba na’ng ibig sabihin
‘Di na friends ang tingin n’ya sa kin.

Everyday parating we’re together
Every week palaging may sleep over
Ang tawag niya sa mommy ko ay tita
Bakit ba di pa n’on nakita

Until out of the blue
Ang feeling’s so true
Bigla na lang sinabi sa ‘kin that…

This guy’s in love with you, pare
This guy’s in love with you, pare
This guy’s in love with you, pare
Bading na bading sa—–

Spoot!

You asshole $%#%!!!

Sori po…

—————

2nd day. Monday, September 4. 5 pm. Waltermart Dasmariñas. Emilio Aguinaldo Highway.

Sa talahiban ika’y lumitaw
Sumama ang hangin ako’y napailing
Tao nga ba o kabayong mahiwaga
Napapansin ko siya
na may milagrong ginagawa
Mang-aagaw siya ng lakas
Ingat ka kapag nakilala ka

Kahit na tinatawanan
Marami yatang pumapatol diyan
‘Pag meron s’yang napagtitripan
Bibigyan niya ng limandaan
Baklang sagad sa pangit
Ang kagandaha’y pinipilit
Sa likod ng mukhang mama
Pag humarap ay mam—–

Spoot!

Arrrgh. (Stares provocatively)

Sori po.

——————

How iritating it is to imagine how uncivilized most of our commuters on the roads of urban biodiversity. Pee here, throw rubbish there, spit everywhere… even on my shoes!

I quoted to my classmates in our Logic subject:

You can kiss the grounds of Iceland and Singapore.

The Philippines?

Kiss your arse instead.

Sheesh. To think that I am actually singing at those times. Chills all over. Tagatagaktaktakking are my teeth.

———-
How strict is the implementation/orientation of this so-called ‘republic public hygiene’ in our country? How educated are the people to have their filthy excretions be disposed redundantly properly?

Education is dreck. Miseducation is bliss. Go figure.

Shouldn’t I throw stones at these people doing such unearthly habit?

I think I should throw it to everyone.
The government is intently depreciating our quality education. The government is poorly promulgating education. We are tolerating our government’s scallawagging. We are teaching ourselves how to scallawag like the government. We are teaching the youngsters to be scallawags like us. Syllogistically we all deserve rocks in our throats.

So migrate na ko nyan sa Canada?

Ha. Go figure.

Location: Inside my room where piglet snores are eminent.
Categories: Pulitikahan

BLANC

This is what I do when I’m bored of/having no time or money for blogging. A Photoshopped rushed-out drawing of evening solitude.

This is me two weeks ago.

I can’t think of anything to post except the rivalry between a gay and another gay in our apartment and the addition of a gal, a gay, and a guy(?)-being-rivalled-by-two-gays to our apartment.

Brrr…

——————

Dad called us a while ago to inform that Western Union is currently swallowing my dad’s remittance for this month. And mom hasn’t told him yet the real score of our ‘insufficient
funds’ or he’ll scold my mom again. Sigh. Mom is just too kind…

Thank God we have money now. Thank God I have something to spend for the following weeks. Thank God.

Location: in a room where all the fantasms of a retard co-exist
Category: Personalan