DISEASE

Outline for my CD-Burning sideline in school. Crap, we’re losing bucks this month…

I am diseased.

I woke up this morning around 10 pm with my tummy already in its lowest gastric juice’s pH level, and a super fresh breath (haaah…). I always miss my breakfast. Gives me the guilt since my mom always wake in the morning just to prepare it for us. I faced our 5-foot mirror just to check if another Bulbasaur pops out of my face for the 1243rd time. (To think that I count all the pimples on my face). I curled my head sidewards and notice a bulge on my right neck. I felt it with my fingers. It moves–and it hurts, I told myself.

I sat on the sofa already pestered with holes and wondered…

What happened to me for the past few weeks?

ALZHEIMER’S

I always ponder about my brain’s incapacities to remember in verbatim details the things that transpired. Whenever I try to sit down and hasten my delta waves, I end up eating Capuccino a la Brian Bernardo (4 parts Milo powder, 1/2 part water… ‘papak’ as we call it). I can’t remember anything else unimportant but the worst things.

Skipping my blog routine is difficult for me. I seldom take notes of what I should post. I’m used to type everything on-the-spot that’s why each time I puke every comic balloon that appeared beside other people’s heads, I see tapeworms. I sometimes ask myself–is it because of my super-late sleeping hours? Or masturbation? Or the contraindications of Extra Joss? Very very difficult for me.

You’ve been reading tapeworms, I guess.

Ching!
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RESPIRATORY INFECTION

Yesterday, I was diagnosed with inflamed lymph nodes on my neck. Weak lungs, it implies as the doctor inserted his thermometer under my armpit. He said, if my lymph nodes around my neck bulges, I have some infection in my lungs. I don’t know what kind of infection the doctor is understating, but the way my doctor looks at my mom I sense something expensive. Ching.

I never smoke but my nose regularly swims on daily kilogram dosage of silt and particulates in the air. Now, my stomach is over-populated with two 800 mg of Cotrimoxazole (antibacterial) caplet, three Diclofenac Sodium (anti inflammatory) tab, one Sodium Ascorbate (Vitamin C) capsule, and Thumbelina (well… she’s delicious, I just can’t help it but swallow her).

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AN-AN

I was horrendously suffering with itching on my arms.

I thought my mom’s Skin White soap is effective to whiten my elbow. Definitely it’s not. It’s an-an pala.

F*ck. For the very first time in my life I have an-an. Brrgh. Gross. I’ve never been unhygienic in my entire freakin’ life. It’s a very small patch, but it really pissed me off. Luckily I found a clove of garlic in the kitchen. I squished the fungi into dimwits. Now, they’re history.

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WEREWOLF SYNDROME

I’m always teased by my high school classmates. Aside from having a very wide forehead (they just chant “Johnson Wax yata yan…” as if my forehead is shining shimmering splendid), they always agitate the words ‘veterinary’, ‘Simba’, ‘Dracula‘ among others. That’s because of my ’sungki’.

I have an abnormally-grown left canine tooth that pissed my public pronunciations regularly. My lips are always hooked on to it that gives me greater tendencies to stutter and mispronounce lip syllabications. Not only that it gave me the difficulty to vocally express eloquently, but I always have the tension of having these people looking at my ’sungki’. I chew my words because my lips are hooked on my sungki. We never prioritized having our monthly remittances be spent on tooth braces.

But my mom found someone…

You know the non-licensed false teeth molders featured in Imbestigador last month? We have one here in our subdivision and luckily ’she’ and my mom are in good terms. I know she’s unlicensed for not directly answering my mom’s inquiry, but her good intention to help other people with the quality of false teeth, braces, and retainers she makes in a very affordable price is commendably amenable (amen! whohoo!). But I’m worrying about her rival non-licensed, as well as licensed, dentists in our subdivision since she has the most clients of all.

She’s a licensed dental technician alrighty. She was obligated to renew it (her license when she wasn’t married yet need to be re-registered again) and show us her certification black-and-white that’s why for 2 days, I’m not eating stainless steel yet.

See? I told you… people are intimidated to me. Intimidation is the best policy. I should’ve not demostrated to her how califragilistically skeptic I am in terms of ‘aura’.

Honestly, I’m not sure…

Do semi-braces worth 2000 pesos each?

Plus, I was not in a cozy, alcohol-scented, airconditioned atmosphere when ’she’ plunged the wet ceramic mold on my teeth. I smell acrylic paint, tilapia, and Coca-cola. Thinking of hygiene, I think she fails it. But the results that manifested on her happy customers makes me think twice.

Ha. Hopefully my mom has a very good decision… now that we are having problems with her bouncing (boink-boink) cheques. She should’ve disclosed it to us before. Now, I’m very eager to advertise my 40-peso worth CD-Burning business here.

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I’ve had a lot of happy customers for my personalized CD covered outputs with hard-to-download music. Thank you Lord for teaching me how to self-orient Photoshop and hacking et al.